Hey there peeps!
Got milk? 😺 Got mice? Need to clean some fish? I’m here to help!!
I do a really good job, too- you can even ask my human!
See, a couple of mornings ago, my favorite human (the one that feeds me and grooms me), left at 7:30 in the morning to go watch the tiny grabby thing they call the Creature’s little sister.
When she left, she took out a package of rock thingies from the freezer that looked (and smelled) like STEAK and another rock thingie that looked and smelled suspiciously like CHICKEN – and she told human #2 that the rocks that looked like steak was going to be his dinner, and she was going to have the one that looked like chicken when she got home.
*I never knew humans ate rocks, but whatever…*
Well, she left, and human #2 left after awhile, so I decided to make dinner for them when they got home, since the human is always so tired at the end of the day.
I sat and glared at those rocks all day until the POWER OF MY GLARE softened those rocks, and then, (being the sweet little kitty I am), I worked really hard and unwrapped those rocks (the ones that looked like steak), and took a few big bites out of both of them to make sure they tasted right for the human -(he’s a picky eater)! 😺
Then I immediately got busy working to unwrap and test the chicken rock for my other human- but she had put that one in a weird clear force field of some kind so I couldn’t open it no matter how hard I tried- not even to taste it!
I was really disappointed that I couldn’t open and test her rock too (it seemed unfair somehow)- so, I thought about it for a while ..
…and did the next best thing-
I dragged it to my Chewy box that I play in so she could have a nice, cozy box to eat it in!
And, that’s not even the best part!
I even dragged the steak rocks onto the kitchen floor so that as soon as the humans got home, they’d know they could just DIG IN!
YOU SHOULD’VE SEEN the human’s face when she got home at 5:00 and saw that I had their dinner all ready for them!
(Well, she had to look all over the place to find her chicken rock- but it’s okay, because that was part of the fun hide and seek game I’d planned for her to help her relax before dinner)!
She was absolutely speechless at my thoughtfulness!
So, if you need any help getting rid of that annoying milk, or butter, or whipped cream, or cleaning any fish, or dealing with chicken rocks, just dial 1.800.Twi.lite!
(And if Shrimp answers, hang up)!